I was sitting on the porch with Julius last night when I received a call from my ex-husband. His dad is in the hospital. He had surgery to remove part of his left lung because it had cancer. He used to be a smoker. Thing is, his brother died of lung cancer several months ago and no one detected it until it was too late. So Harlan, that's my ex's dad's name, had a CT Scan done and they found a tumor in his lung. Before they decided to do the surgery, they checked his lymph nodes and found no cancer. So they proceeded with the surgery. I guess he doesn't have to go through chemo or radiation.
That should be reason enough to quit smoking, but here I sit, craving a cigarette. *sighs* I don't understand why I picked up smoking again after I stopped smoking for two years. It started with me drinking and wanting to smoke. Then it picked up with a full blown smoking habit.
The thing is, I cough and choke and even throw-up sometimes. That should definitely be a sign that I should quit. But no, I roll another cigarette because I can't afford to buy packs of cigarettes.
I'm not only going to ask to be weened off my pain meds, but ask is there is something else I can try to quit with. I've tried patches, gum and Chantix. The Chantix worked, but as soon as I was taken off of it, I started smoking again. And that's not a lifelong drug. There's got to be something else.
But anyhoo, enough about smoking and pain and cancer...I paid all my bills but my rent and I still had money left over that I could spend on myself. So I placed an order to Bath and Body Works. I got some mists and lotions. I go through lotions fast.
I'm getting the feeling back in my left pinky. Thank God! I was beginning to worry about that. I'll still mention it. It's probably neuropathy from being diabetic. My blood sugars have been high, but that's my fault. It's Easter and I love my candy. I do this twice a year. Easter and Halloween. 'Cept at Halloween, I don't go hog while on the candy like I do at Easter. Needless to say, I shouldn't be eating any sweets, but I do. I got these mixed up crazy flavor Starburst jellybeans and they are addicting as all get out. Plus I LOVE Cadbury Caramel eggs. Mmmm!!! Stop me before I burst. I took my blood sugar this morning when I got up and I was pleasantly shocked that my blood sugar wasn't sky high. I think that's because that kind of sugar raises fast then drops fast too.
Mom told me about the barriactric surgery that actually cures diabetes. That's another thing I want to mention to Dr. Elkins. I don't know if my health insurance will cover it, but if it does, I'm gonna do it. I will have to lose ex amount of weight before hand, I'm sure, but I don't care. If I can have it done, I will. It would be a lot better than injecting myself several times a day with insulin. Plus, I'll lose weight and won't have such a huge appetite. That'll be worth it too. I'm tired of eating and then being hungry right away.
So my good friend, Nikki Kiger told me it's National Poetry Month. I'll have to make sure to write some good poetry. I'm going to try to write some vampire themed poetry for the hell of it. I love vampires and it's something I haven't done, but only once. And the poem I wrote was meant to be a song. I'll post it. It's in my book. I heard from Brandi about my book, she didn't read all of it yet, but what she read she liked a lot. That put a smile on my face. It is a long ass book. I don't expect anyone to be able to read it in one sitting unless they're speed readers, like my cousin, Jr.
I've been hanging out with Jr again and it's great. We stopped hanging out with one another several years ago over some shit that went down with Chandra. Well, my wish came true and they're talking again. I am so grateful that our circle of friends, minus Bob, Amy and Levi are friends again. Those three can have one another. They'll all a bunch of assholes users. Bob, not so, but he allows his wife to get away with murder practically. The last time I heard about Amy, she was buying and smoking an oz. and a half a week of pot. That's insane! And I know Levi and how he is, is only hanging out with Amy because of the weed. Grrrr....they make me mad.
Never mind them.
Well, I've been up since 5am and I'm going back to sleep for a little while. I have PT with Allison at 2:30, so I need to make sure I make it for that appointment, Nightie night or rather morning night. LOL Talkatcha later.
Hugs and kisses to everyone,