Monday, April 30, 2012

Thoughts On Paper

Thoughts on paper.
Now where did that idea come from?
It's been years since I've done it.
Lost in this depression.
Without a clue why.
I lead a pretty interesting life.
Not really.
Only in my head is it interesting.
And I've forgotten what a journal is.
Very lonely.
Looking for a companion.
But she's tangled in dreams.
I have dreams too.
I have nightmares as well.
And for months I've been attacked.
I don't know why I'm finding it difficult
To know both sides of my personality.
I don't want to be mean.
I don't mean to be grouchy.
And I want to be happy and be at peace with everything.
I'm driving myself crazy.
That's all there is to it.
Because no one knows where we go in the end.
There's no proof.
It's all a mystery.
Do you just go to sleep?
Do you dream?
Or is it all a blank?
Because most smart people are right.
Is there another world beyond death?
Will I be me?
Because despite my crazy way of thinking,
I like who I am.
I like my identity.
And yes, there are short comings.
But, I can handle them.
I just don't want to lose myself.
I've drawn a blank.
I've lost it.
My thoughts have taken me on a trip.
It's not quite like Wonderland.
But it's very vivid and would probably
Scare a normal human being.
My meds haven't kicked in yet.
But my mind is wandering.
Where will it go?
Where will I go?
Where will we go?
I hate being cold.
I'm crawling under the covers.
Close my eyes.
While Poo Poo Kitty crawls in my arms.
Pleasant dreams, Miss Karen Elizabeth.
I love you all.

 Copyright © Karen Elizabeth Waters 2011

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