Follow the White Rabbit...

Soul Mate

Faces of souls pass me by
As the countless years
Go flying by.

I wonder why I tried
So hard to fit in…
To blend in.

When I realized that
All I was doing was living a lie,

I made a promise to myself
to live the way I
Want and to be free.

I give love to everybody
And it’s left
Me rather lonely.

All I want…
All I need…
All I desire…

…is someone by my side.
My eternal one.
The one my heart beats for.

My twin in love,
My twin in passion,
My twin in music.
The one who’d love
My soul for eternity.

The one who’d want
To save me if I
Were suddenly dying.

Where are you, my love?
I’m crying for you,
Can’t you hear me?

I’ve been praying to the stars
And making wishes
On my necklaces
For your arrival.

But you haven’t come.

My invitation is
Wide open for you.
I’m waiting for you
To rescue me from
All this madness.

For you will be worshiped
With all of my body and soul
As you worship me the same.

Some would say that
That kind of love is
Too powerful.
Our minds can’t handle it.

Some say only God
Loves you like that.

What is God?
What are we?
What is life?
What is my worst fear?
…Death?
No…
It’s the unknown.
I don’t like surprises.

I just want to spend
Eternity with you.

I want company
That melts with my mind.
That see things as
Crazy and bizarre and weird
To others
That are perfectly normal to us.

I know what you look like.
You have long dark silky hair
And light blue eyes.
How can I find you?
I want to go where you live.
Meet my mate in blood.

I want to mix our blood
And bury it in the earth
So we will be
Married to Her.

I’ve found
Bits and pieces
Of you.

You’re in my friends.
You’re in my family.
You’re even in my
Kitties of now and then.

Egyptians worshiped cats.
So do I!
So do you.

Where are you?
If I find a place
Where you’re at,
I’ll move there.

Because where you’ll
Be is near others like us.

Are you in New Orleans
With all the magic,
Vampires and blood rituals?

Will we meet in an absinthe bar
And share each other’s sugar cubes?

Perhaps I have to travel
All the way across the ocean
To Europe
Where my heart lies,
And has for a very long time.

Where to start?
I’ve no clue.
But my mind makes plans.

Oh, indeed it does.

You’re out there somewhere.
We’ll find each other someday.

I believe this because
I just do.

Everyone has a twin.
And everyone has
A soul mate.

We’re connected
You and I.

And right now
You’re
Thinking about
Me
Like I’m
Thinking about
You.

Holy Water

My body is swallowed by the

undertow of your blood

which pulsates through my veins.

The seas are boiling and

I consume your holy water.

Waves of emotion take

me by surprise and

I escape them out of breath.

Your breath you breathe

into my heart, revives

me and I shiver.

A faceless face full of passion

catches me off guard.

I can be free from all

my worries when

I'm with you.

Free from the heartaches,

free from reality.

Like a drug, I let my

mind take control.

Drifting into a slumbering

state of satisfaction.

I close my eyes,

take a deep breath,

sigh,

and I'm alone once again.

One Giant Catastrophe

I'm in a hole that I can't climb out of.

My heart's been broken in two.

No matter what I do,

No matter what I say,

You'll just never love me that way.

I walk alone in this world

and it's driving me mad.

The silence is killing me,

someone just give me a caring hand.

I keep growing small,

slipping in and out of my own little world,

watch me as I disappear from your sight.

This is life it’s falling,

this life is coming down.

I've been drifting from place to place

without a clue, without a care.

You don't care, and neither do they.

I guess I should move onward,

and meet my Fate.

Come for a ride,

smile for me.

Tell me something that's more than a dream.

Come for a spin,

sing to me.

Tell me you're waiting for the perfect moment

It's here and then it's gone.

Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.

I'm screaming loud, but no one wants to hear me.

I feel like Jekyll and Hyde.

One giant catastrophe.

Thoughts On Paper

Thoughts on paper.

Now where did that idea come from?

It's been years since I've done it.

Lost in this depression.

Without a clue why.

I lead a pretty interesting life.

Not really.

Only in my head is it interesting.

And I've forgotten what a journal is.

Very lonely.

Looking for a companion.

But she's tangled in dreams.

I have dreams too.

I have nightmares as well.

And for months I've been attacked.

I don't know why I'm finding it difficult

To know both sides of my personality.

I don't want to be mean.

I don't mean to be grouchy.

And I want to be happy and be at peace with everything.

I'm driving myself crazy.

That's all there is to it.

Because no one knows where we go in the end.

There's no proof.

It's all a mystery.

Do you just go to sleep?

Do you dream?

Or is it all a blank?

Because most smart people are right.

Is there another world beyond death?

Will I be me?

Because despite my crazy way of thinking,

I like who I am.

I like my identity.

And yes, there are short comings.

But, I can handle them.

I just don't want to lose myself.

I've drawn a blank.

I've lost it.

My thoughts have taken me on a trip.

It's not quite like Wonderland.

But it's very vivid and would probably

Scare a normal human being.

My meds haven't kicked in yet.

But my mind is wandering.

Where will it go?

Where will I go?

Where will we go?

I hate being cold.

I'm crawling under the covers.

Close my eyes.

While Poo Poo Kitty crawls in my arms.

Pleasant dreams, Miss Karen Elizabeth.

I love you all.

Dark Angel

Her passion runs deep,

If you tap the vein, you might find it.

She’s never truly exposed herself before.

Alone at night, she sits in the dark and cries.

Her mind holds the key to her transfiguration,

But she needs someone to unlock her

Deepest lusts and fears in order to

Understand her.

Never betray her.

Never leave her.

Never get that close for your own good.

There’s darkness in her heart.

There’s beauty lying under the skin.

There’s lust in her eyes.

There’s ardor in her soul.

She’s dying to get out.

She wants that freedom.

She wants to be saved.

If you think you can handle it,

Never hide yourself.

Come and let this scarred angel fly.

The door is hanging wide open.

Your foot is through…just a few more steps.

The impact is exhausting.

Her beauty is love. Her love is beautiful.

She’s the angel of a dead caterpillar.

Dreaming forever, flying from flower to flower.

What flower are you?

Just a few more steps.

Just a few more.

Voices In My Head

Voices stare back at

me as an unknown

caller tries to talk.

The silence almost

drives me crazy and

I don't understand

what's gotten into me.

Why do all these thoughts

keep occupying my brain?

Keep telling me

that I've gone insane!

A tranquil symphony orchestra

sings a tune

and I'm again haunted

by you.

I can't turn down the voices

for they are stuck on high.

And he's once again in the way.

I shake him,

I choke him,

but he laughs in my face,

and I can't keep him

from strangling me.

Help me, my Lady,

save me, my Lord,

from him,

the voices,

and the reoccurring

thoughts of you.

I beg of thee to quit

doing this to me,

set me free,

let me go!

I dive into the deep end

and with every breath

I swallow water.

Cold, heartless, ice water,

and I see you coming

from above to save me.

Quick!

I take your hand and you

bring me to the surface.

I lie there eyes closed,

shallow breath while

you breathe life back

into me.

I wake up and stare into

your beautiful eyes.

A true friend's work is never done.

Together we die

simultaneously

and I can breathe you

in like never before.

Carousel

My head is spinning
But my body is motionless.
Colors sparkle and swirl by
As I begin to dream.

Time goes by and consumes
Our souls and we live in
Fear of the end.

But, my world that I live in
Is kept as a secret and I
Know time won’t take over there.

copyright © Karen Elizabeth Waters 2011

Monday, April 30, 2012