Darkness

She says that there's a darkness within.
I agree with her and I'm trying to kick it out!
I know it's been brewing for many years.
It just sits there and rots and festers,
killing the parts of my body that I need most.
I try to make sense of it.
Try to figure where it came from and when.
But it clouds my brain along with
my medication and my strange way of believing.
My strange way of thinking.
I asked her if it was a demon?
She claimed not.
I asked was this happening to me because of
my love for the darker things in life?
She claimed not again.
Then I fell into a drugged sleep
and lost everything, including all my dreams
and memories of then and now.
She says, "Wake the fuck up!"
I am most of the time.
She then says that's not what she means.
Everything is encrypted.
What is then is now and what is now is then.
There are several dimensions.
I must go further.
But I LOVE this dimension.  I WANT to
be in this 3D world forever!
That's not possible, she says.
I wish I could get what she's saying.
Maybe then, and only then, will I
be able to understand her.
Until then, not only is there a dark within,
but I'm in the dark about it too.

 Copyright © 2013 Karen Elizabeth Waters